Believe It or Not

No doubt you’ve heard it said, “Your beliefs create your reality.” If you’re like many people, you are intrigued by the idea and feel, intuitively, that it makes sense. You may already have explored shifting your beliefs in order to create a reality – a life – you love, yet can’t seem to get there from here. Either it isn’t obvious what you believe that runs counter to what you want, or what you believe just seems so absolutely true you don’t see any way of shifting it.

You are not alone. That’s why there are so many of us offering perspectives on what it really takes to change a belief. Or more to the point, that’s why I’m offering my perspective on what it really takes to change a belief! Because it is possible to shift your beliefs in order to create a more deeply fulfilling life – in fact, positive change can only happen when the underlying beliefs support it – and learning to do it intentionally will give you an amazing sense of empowerment to create a life you love.

So I’m going to give you my answer to “what it really takes to change a belief” right here, right now:

Intention…Awareness…Willingness…Practice…all resting on a solid foundation of self-love.

Let’s look at the self-love piece. What it takes to change a belief is a choice to do so, a decision. And fundamentally the decision you’re making is that you are deserving of living a deeply fulfilled life, and you’re willing to find ways to empower yourself to do so.

That’s the foundation of self-love:  you are worthy of happiness and fulfillment. AND you will love yourself through the experience of shifting your beliefs rather than being a taskmaster and using the process as an excuse to beat yourself up.

The process itself looks something like this:

You intend to live a fulfilled life, you become willing to expand your awareness so that you can recognize the beliefs that are holding you back, then you intend to shift them, and you willingly employ the practices that help you form more empowered beliefs.

Going into depth about this process and each of its elements is beyond the scope of a single article. But there is one thing I want to offer right here and right now which can help you immediately begin to let go of your limiting beliefs, and it draws on the element of willingness:

Be willing to consider that what you think is true about something- and particularly, what you think is true about yourself - is actually a belief and not a fact.

This is key, and it gets to the heart of why we often have difficulty letting go of limiting beliefs. We know intellectually that beliefs can be changed, but we don’t think “reality” can be changed.  (We generally haven’t grasped that reality is not fixed and predictable but is, instead, an organic, fluid and ongoing creative process. More on that another time.)

We continually draw conclusions about life that we think are obvious statements of fact, when in truth they are interpretations. Interpretations that we believe to be true.

Beliefs.

And because of the vibrational nature of this universe, beliefs – thoughts we believe to be true – are magnetic. So a well-established belief, either conscious or unconscious, will draw to us experiences we see as evidence that the belief is true. The more evidence we see, the more we think “this is the way it is,” and on it goes.

It takes a genuine willingness to step back from all of that and consider the possibility that the belief is the generative force and the circumstances are the result, and not the other way around.

But here’s the good news: If you ARE willing to see it that way, you immediately move to a more empowered place, and that’s because it is possible to change beliefs…and therefore to create a whole new lived experience. A new reality.

So become willing to notice thoughts you have about yourself and what is possible for your life, which you believe to be true and which obviously limit you in some way. Observe how those thoughts affect the ideas you have, the actions you take and the experiences that tend to show up. Become willing to ask, “What might my life be like if I didn’t believe this to be true?”

The simple but genuine act of asking that question will open new avenues of insight and experience. Explore those avenues with an open mind and an open heart, and let yourself be led to new possibilities that inspire you.

Remember, you are worthy of happiness and fulfillment.

I will be leading my catalytic teleclass, What It Really Takes to Change a Belief, on Saturday, February 23^rd, from 10am – noon EST. We’ll go into depth about the whole process of shifting beliefs and you’ll be given the framework and practices to help you actually do it.

 

The Next Amazing Version of You

It’s that time of year again: time for me to come up with something fresh, helpful and possibly humorous about starting a new year. I just reread my January column from last year in Living.Well Magazine and realized I’d pretty much captured, in that article, all I’d want to say about setting intentions for a new year. So where do I want to go from here?


Hmmm, I wonder if I could just use that article here? I wonder if my readers would mind? I’m sure everyone’s forgotten what I wrote, so reading it again would seem like a totally new experience.

That’s not a bad idea! But not a particularly creative one, either. Efficient, maybe, but not creative.

Or is it? No, I don’t mean the recycling-an-old-article idea. But it just occurred to me that the very choice I made to reread a previously written article is actually a great way to get my creative juices flowing – because it gave me an opportunity to appreciate what is already good, fun and useful about my writing.

Now don’t worry, I’m not going to write an article about my writing process, other than to highlight its simplicity: I allowed myself to actually appreciate how my writing has evolved, and then I asked myself, “So where do I want to go from here?” Then I recognized that this basic, two-step process is incredibly useful not only for stimulating new article ideas, but also for setting intentions for the New Year.

Let me explain.

Too often, in our zeal for fresh starts and wanting to move as quickly as possible into our slimmer bodies, peaceful minds, fulfilling careers, deeply satisfying relationships and lots and lots of money, we set specific goals that reflect our assumed “end points” for those experiences. Consciously or unconsciously, we fall into the trap of believing that we’ll be happy when we’ve reached those end points, which are way out in our future. And in the meantime? Well, we’ll just have to grin and bear it and push as hard and fast as we can to get to where we want to go.

The difficulty with that approach is that it deprives us of satisfaction and enjoyment right now. It also, by the way, runs cross-current to our very nature. As I said in last year’s (quite competently written) article, happiness is not a thing we can obtain or a point in time we can “get to.” It is a vibration, a state of being from which our experiences flow. The happier we are, the happier the circumstances we attract and create.

And here’s why: in this vibrational universe, our attention is a powerful creative force. It’s like a frequency tuner. What we focus on becomes the frequency we’re on, and since like frequencies resonate with each other, this means that the essence of what we pay attention to becomes the essence of what we attract. So when we set goals that arise from our attention to the lack of what we have now – such as not enough money, or a career that isn’t fulfilling, or a state of health that lacks vitality - and as we keep paying attention to the gap between where we are and where we want to be, we’re on the frequency of not having what we want. And so we perpetuate our experience of being in the gap.

When we set intentions to create or experience more of what we want, and then pay attention to anything and everything that matches the “more” right now, we perpetuate the experience of having what we want.

And it gets even better than that! When we not only pay attention to, but appreciate, the things in our now experience that match the “more” of what we want, we accelerate the experience of having more of what we want. Appreciation is a vibration that lines us up with more things to appreciate.

Which brings me back to my simple process for jumpstarting the writing of this post, one that we can adapt to the setting of intentions for the New Year. When I reread last year’s article and allowed myself to appreciate its good points, I was in the vibration of “good writing.” When I asked, “So where do I want to go from here?” I stayed in that vibration with a focus on expanding it. And then I started writing.

Had I reread last year’s article with a critical eye and zoomed in on all the awkward and unclear places, I would have been in the vibration of “bad writing.” And from there it would have been easy to find more to criticize, or to try figuring out how to fix what’s wrong with my writing – or to close the laptop, walk away and hope the good writing fairy would visit in time to meet the submission deadline.

From the “bad writing” vibration, had I asked, “So where do I want to go from here?” I would likely have answered, “As far away from this computer as I can.” Actually, from that vibration my next question would likely have been something along the lines of, “So what’s the point?”

I might have been tempted to simply give up.

And isn’t that what often happens as we trudge into the New Year with resolutions we’ve set in order to fix what is “wrong” with us? We think the outer goal itself will galvanize us into action, not recognizing that inspired action and inspired results arise from our inner sense of empowerment and our ability to sustain positive momentum.

When we start from a place of lack or self-judgment – we don’t have enough money, we’re too lazy to stick with a good diet and exercise program, we can’t seem to get it right in the relationship department – we are hardly in an empowered place. We can try forcing ourselves to take action toward our goals but deep down we don’t really believe we can meet them.

So we might be tempted to give up.

There really is a better way to create the experiences we wish to create. And it starts with understanding that our desires for change arise from our evolutionary impulses to grow. We’re not broken and in need of fixing. We’re simply where we are - and expanding into our ever-growing potential.

And with our understanding that what we pay attention to is what we create and experience, we can support our expansion in a loving, empowered way by starting first with appreciation. When we take the time to thoughtfully acknowledge and deeply appreciate all we have accomplished in the past year, we reinforce a self-identity of someone who has what it takes to create a fulfilling life. We initiate a spiral of positive momentum that carries us into our next phase of growth.

And when we ask ourselves, “So where do I want to go from here?” rather than, “So what do I need to fix or improve about myself?” we build on that momentum rather than stopping it in its tracks.

You might ask, “But what if my accomplishments from the past year have nothing to do with what I want to create in the new year? What if there is nothing for me to appreciate about, say, my progress toward a more stable financial situation?”

The fundamental process is still the same. Take time to genuinely acknowledge and appreciate all you can about yourself and your life. Intend to get on the frequency of “my life is good and getting better all the time” by noticing progress you’ve made in any area – and don’t overlook significant progress you may have made on the inside. Maybe you’re far less reactive than you used to be, or you’ve let go of old resentments, or you’ve finally started supporting rather than doubting yourself. These are significant! Those positive shifts in your internal vibration will ultimately lead to positive shifts in your external circumstances.

So you’ve taken the time to really feel appreciation for all you’ve accomplished this past year. Now you ask, “So where do I want to go from here?” And in this example, you really want to improve your financial situation. Don’t be tempted to criticize yourself for not yet being where you want to be. Stay with the good feeling of self-appreciation, and let yourself imagine how great it will feel when you’re making the progress you want to make in this area. Ask yourself helpful questions such as:

• In what ways am I already good with money?

• What ideas do I already have, about how to get to an even better place with money, that I’m willing to take action on?

• Who might know something helpful about this?

• What inner and outer resources are already available to support me?

• How could I make this process fun?

The idea is to focus your attention – your frequency tuner – to the frequency of success. Which is why it’s so helpful to start by appreciating all the ways you already are successful, and then expand from there.

You may be tempted to judge this as simplistic or superficial. Let me assure you nothing could be further from the truth. When we shift from a paradigm of fixing what is wrong to one that focuses on lovingly supporting our natural impulses toward growth, we gain access to a whole new way of living. We live fully in the present rather than waiting to come alive in the future. We learn to love ourselves and appreciate our value. We relax more, we enjoy more and, liberated from self-doubt and self-criticism, we accomplish more.

So before you make resolutions or set intentions for 2013, take the time to deeply acknowledge, appreciate and celebrate your many fine qualities and accomplishments. Ask yourself what you most want to create or experience in your life, not what you think you should fix. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you that needs to be fixed. You’re evolving and expanding into the next delightful, amazing version of yourself. And you deserve to enjoy the ride.

Here’s to a new year of vibrant growth and unexpected pleasure.

In Your Own Voice

It’s been a while since I've written a post that isn’t based on an interview I had with a best-selling author about a recently published book. I actually have two more amazing authors lined up for interviews – stay tuned in 2013! – yet I felt a deep need to write what is likely to be my last post in 2012 straight from my heart to yours, in my own voice. I wanted to keep things pure and simple.

I’ve discovered that, in many respects, writing articles based on the published work and philosophy of others is more “work” than writing an original piece. It requires more time – preparing for the interview, conducting and recording the interview, listening to it afterward and taking notes, organizing the notes into themes for articles, writing and editing the articles – and attention to a new kind of detail: wanting to honor and convey the spirit of the author in a kind, fair and genuine way. I certainly wouldn’t say I labored over those articles – the whole process was much too fun for that kind of exaggerated characterization – yet I can say I’m somewhat relieved to be sitting here, just me and my laptop, with my own thoughts and an open, hopeful heart.

Let’s see, what was that about my own thoughts?

Oh, yes, now I’m remembering the “work” of writing an original piece: being original. I hate that part.

Then again, I’ve learned over the years that being completely “original” can be vastly overrated – or maybe it’s more accurate to say that we often misunderstand what it actually means to be original. How many of us have discarded our secret longings to, say, open a yoga studio or write a book about parenting or maybe just play with watercolors? We tell ourselves the world doesn’t need another __________ (yoga studio, book, artist…you name it) and get on with the nuts and bolts of running our busy lives. 

I’ve had that inner debate several times, and it was ignited again after interviewing the luminous Anita Moorjani and the deliciously humorous and wise Tama Kieves. (Not to mention reading their penetrating, well-written and transformation-inducing books.) Some part of me questioned the value of my own teaching and writing. What was the point, really, of creating new articles and blog posts and courses and maybe even a book, when I could just refer clients to the books and blogs of countless other insanely talented writers and teachers? 

After all, we’re out there sharing similar messages, yet they’ve got the momentum and machinery of “best-selling author” status behind them to reach hundreds of thousands of people.  What are the chances of my being heard? And anyway, what value do I provide that people aren’t already getting from Tama and Anita and all those other wildly successful teachers leading workshops at Omega and Kripalu?

If I was my own coach I’d grab myself by the shoulders and shake lightly – but firmly. I’d look myself straight in the eyes and remind myself of this potent truth, which I love to share with as many people as I can who want to listen:

You matter, and what you love matters. You are here to bring forth your unique talent and brilliance, led by your genuine desires. What else could you do with your time here on Earth that could be more important? It is not up to your small, fearful self to decide what the world needs. It’s your job to wake up to your large, magnificent self and live from that expanded and generous place. 

And here’s something else I love to remind people – and myself: your very presence is unique and irreplaceable. Even if you’re saying or doing things that others have apparently said or done, it is still completely original because it comes from you. It bears what I call your exceptional, inimitable energy signature. People will respond to your message or product who have not responded to similar messages and products from others, because they’re on your frequency. Wouldn’t it be a shame if you weren’t making it available to them…all because you discounted your own dreams for not being “original” enough?

And yet I’m not just talking here about things you can offer as an entrepreneur or an employee. This isn’t only about careers and commerce. It’s about recognizing your innate value and worthiness and the transformative power of your shining, genuine presence. When you’re centered and relaxed and relating to others from your true core, you are a force for good in the world. Your special blend of qualities and talents – such as kindness, humor, insightfulness, artistry, calmness, technological brilliance, peacefulness, clarity, love of language, athleticism, compassion and countless others – are inherently inspiring and uplifting to others. Your special blend is completely original. And much needed.

Recognizing, honoring and sharing your special blend is fundamentally the same thing as finding and living your calling. It’s all about being authentically, joyfully you. I often say the deep impulse to find and live your calling arises from the inner workings of a beautifully designed system: what you most long to create, share or experience is what the world most needs from you. So when you dare to follow your dreams, you not only open yourself to a deeply fulfilled life, you are naturally in service to others. 

I know I’m not the first person to tell you that following your dreams leads to fulfillment, and I certainly won’t be the last. The message is not – dare I say it - an original one. Yet I hope, through my own unique blend of teaching and writing, to add a new voice to the chorus, giving our song greater nuance and depth and harmony. And maybe, with my voice added to the mix, you’ll hear it in a whole new way.

And you’ll know this song is for you. Have fun singing it in your own voice.

Wishing you deep peace and newfound joy this holiday season.

True Power

I recently had the great pleasure and privilege of interviewing best-selling author Tama Kieves about her latest book, Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work! This is my third of three articles about our conversation. To learn more about Tama visit www.TamaKieves.com.

“I finally got it that my wildest dreams could never come true, until I remained wildly true to myself.” – Tama Kieves in Inspired & Unstoppable

Have you ever had the experience of thinking you understand a particular concept fairly well, then something happens that opens you to “getting it” at a profoundly deeper level? Conversations with Tama Kieves have a way of stimulating those “aha!” moments. So does her writing. Things that were merely “understood” suddenly become “known.” You gain a newfound appreciation for your own wisdom and your ability to translate it into something meaningful in your life.

The concept of being true to yourself in order to live an authentic, fulfilling and genuinely successful life is one of those easily understood concepts. It’s touted by every therapist and coach and self-help guru on the planet (including yours truly). It’s one that is so commonly repeated and endorsed it feels almost trite.

Yet it’s also one that we’re subtly – and not so subtly – encouraged to abandon time and again in order to “fit in” or to meet the external standards of success so revered in our culture. And time and again, we discover that it simply doesn’t feel good to try squeezing ourselves into roles or circumstances or jobs that bear no resemblance to who we really are. That’s why the self-help gurus keep reminding us that we need to live by a different standard. Only being true to ourselves will yield true satisfaction.

Tama Kieves does more than merely remind us of that potent truth. She illuminates vividly - through her writing and her life – that “being true to yourself” is not merely a guideline or strong personal value to uphold. It is the seat of your blazing, mountain-moving, joy-loving power to create a life you really want to live.

In her book and during our conversation, she shared the story of a time, after she had self-published her first book, when she met a woman named Phyllis who seemed like “the one” – the one who could open doors and secure the introductions and connections that would catapult Tama to success. Phyllis had found Tama’s book on Amazon and loved it. She was well-connected in the publishing industry and offered to help Tama put together a package that would be sent to the president of a big New York publishing house, a man she knew personally. I’ll share the rest of the story in Tama’s words:

“I was a giddy Cinderella who had just met a ticket out of invisibility. But then over the next few weeks, things began to feel anxious and weird. Phyllis didn’t return some phone calls. But she was a busy woman and I, an insecure and desperate one, wagged my tail against the odds. Then there were missed deadlines, stories, dramas, and weeks passing by. Finally, she began disappearing altogether, even from cyberspace. I felt as though I was skidding on black ice, still trying to get somewhere. I desperately wanted things to work. I couldn’t bear the idea of going back to my life alone, without this hookup to the Emerald City, or, in this case, midtown Gotham….That night, weeks of agony receded and I knew what I had to do, come what may. I had to speak my truth, and risk my one thin bridge to having my book published by a big publisher. I felt surrendered and strangely calm. ‘Spirit got me here and will carry me all the way,’ I said to myself as willingness, fear, exhilaration and faith warmed my veins like apricot brandy. Suddenly I was willing to believe that a loving universe might have more than just one rickety way for me to accomplish my dreams.”

The next day, Tama told Phyllis – aka the Fairy Godmother – she no longer wanted to work with her. And the rest, as they say, is history. Tama continued to listen to her heart of hearts, landed a big-league agent to represent her and was published by the publishing company of her dreams. And all because she dared to speak her truth. She dared to be true to herself.

Through this experience and others, Tama had a dawning “aha!” of her own. She began to grasp what it really means to be wildly true to yourself – and how much power is unleashed when we commit to that, no matter what. She now states, boldly and calmly:

“I will walk away, figuratively or literally, from any situation that doesn’t feel true to my soul. I will not be walking away from power or opportunity. I will be walking away with power and opportunity. My truth is my power. So is yours. It’s where the magic lives.”

I love how clearly she draws the line between personal truth and personal power – or perhaps more accurately, how she shows us that personal truth and personal power are fundamentally the same thing. A good practice to follow, whenever you’re feeling powerless, is to see if you’ve somehow ignored or denied an inner truth.

A classic example of how many people give their power away is by denying the truth of their talents, passion and creativity, and remaining stuck in jobs that suffocate or bore them. They convince themselves that the job is their only source of financial security and that they must stay. They deny the unfathomable intelligence of the universe and Life itself, which wants to thrive through us. Or as Tama says, they haven’t yet grasped that a loving universe has more than one way for them to accomplish their dreams. And yes, that includes their dreams of financial prosperity.

I’m not saying that everyone who is frustrated in their job should simply quit and walk away – far from it. But a sense of deep powerlessness always indicates a misperception of our true power, talent and possibility. And we can learn to cultivate a truer perception, to stand in our talent and power and passion, before walking away from the job we’re in. (Of course, if we’re clearly guided to walk away – and we feel deep in our hearts it is the right thing to do, right now – then walking away would itself be a reclamation of power.)

Start with your intention to do just that – to acknowledge and stand in your talent and power and passion. Be willing to consider the possibility that the universe has infinite ways for you to realize your dreams.

Even if you’re not an entrepreneur or bestselling author like Tama.

Let me share the story of a friend of mine who recently went through a highly tumultuous time at work. She works in a large, bureaucratic organization and the chaos was caused by a change in leadership at the highest levels. As part of the transition from one regime to the next, it was decided that certain positions would be redefined and everyone currently in those positions had to reapply for them. And the reapplication and interviewing process was detailed, demanding and lengthy.

My friend is a high-potential employee with years of outstanding performance well documented in her file. She is creative, proactive and responsible – not to mention highly skilled and immensely talented. Yet the grueling process triggered a sense of self-doubt within her. She doesn’t like being interviewed, and kept wondering if she would “make it through.” She started to feel almost as if she would be lucky to keep her current job, in which she had excelled for years…and which she was sick of.

From my vantage point, I could easily recognize the chaotic transition as a time of great opportunity. From her vantage point it was at best a colossal nuisance and at worst a slap in the face of her many years of hard work. The self-doubt kept surfacing, and her inner wrangling was often matched by unexpected dips and changes in the outer process. It was wearing her down.

I kept encouraging her to ignore the outer drama and focus on her immense talents and contributions, and to get clear about the kind of job she really wanted. I knew if she connected with the deepest truth about who she is and what she wants, she would invite opportunity to reflect that truth.

Luckily for her – although at the time it didn’t seem lucky at all, it just seemed like busy work - one of the requirements of the process was for the applicants to compile a portfolio of their achievements. As my friend accumulated and organized the various reports and awards that documented the milestones of her career, she gained a newfound appreciation of herself. And at my urging, she took the time to sit with her journal and describe the kind of job that would best fit her creativity and skill. It felt good to contemplate it and recognize that she was indeed ready for that kind of job. She regained a deep connection with the truth of her talent and passion.

Fast-forward to the conclusion of the process. My friend did not retain the job she was in. She was promoted two grades – to the highest pay level – into a newly created position that matched what she had written in her journal. Turns out the universe didn’t just want her to tread water, it wanted her to move forward. And it created a whole new path for that to happen.

Her responsibility in the process was to be true to herself - to stand in the truth of her talent and passion.

And that is your responsibility, too.

When you do that, opportunity will meet you there.

Tama said in our conversation that she finally recognized, humbly yet joyfully, that her talent and genius represent an amazing gift to this planet, and she needed to value it. And she learned that when she values it, so does everyone else.

My friend learned the same thing. It is true for her, it is true for Tama and it is true for you.

And let’s be clear, this is not about being egotistical. It is about honoring the deepest truth of who you are. As Tama says in her book:

“There comes a time when you will have to stand up for the magnificent truth that trembles in your heart and bones. When you step out in this way, you are actually letting go of your ego, not letting it decide for you.”

Let yourself feel the truth in those words. Decide to acknowledge the deepest truth of your own talent and passion and possibility. Choose to speak and live from that truth. Remember that your wildest dreams can come true only when you remain wildly true to yourself.

The full audio recording of Suzanne’s interview with Tama is available at www.mysolidground.com.

There IS No Other Shoe

Earlier this year I experienced a real highlight of both my personal and professional lives, which was the opportunity I had to interview bestselling author Anita Moorjani, author of Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer to Near Death to True Healing. I had been profoundly moved by a video I’d seen of her on YouTube, and after reading her book had the impulse to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk to me, a writer for Living.Well Magazine. I had a strong desire to connect with her personally - and a sense of intuitive “rightness” about it.


So I acted on the impulse and sent an interview request through her website. My so-called reasoning mind tried to protect me from disappointment by reminding me that she must get thousands of such requests, and the chances of her spending quality time for an interview with a small regional magazine were slim to none. After all, she is an internationally known bestselling author on a world tour! It wouldn’t be wise to get my hopes up, said the sober one within me, with her backhanded brand of comfort. In effect she was saying, “Don’t feel bad if she doesn’t respond, you’re not important enough to garner a response.”

Yet deep within me I knew the interview was “supposed” to happen. Even with the voice of caution hissing in my ear, I felt an odd sense of destiny about the interview. And sure enough, within days I received a response from Anita’s assistant. She told me Anita would be delighted to schedule an interview with me, and we proceeded to email back and forth to work out the specifics of when, where and how the interview would be conducted. I was, quite simply, thrilled.

Each email was kinder and more generous than the last. I felt I was establishing genuine rapport with Anita’s assistant when, suddenly, all communication stopped. It happened after I sent the email with my list of specific questions for the interview. No response. I sent it again, and yet again. Still no response. I was baffled, frustrated and immensely disappointed. There was nothing further for me to do.

A heated conversation bubbled up within me. The seemingly “spiritual” part of me recommended I just let it go; clearly it wasn’t meant to be, and we all know that attachment to a specific outcome is the biggest recipe for unhappiness in life. Another part of me went over the sequence of communications and steps, looking for the mistake I must surely have made. Maybe the interview questions were somehow offensive. Maybe I had done something else wrong. If I could just figure it out, perhaps I could somehow correct it.

Another part of me was simply angry and hurt and prone to dramatic brooding.

Thankfully, deep in the eye of the swirling hurricane of confused thoughts and emotions, sat a very calm and centered part of me who offered the reminder that the sense of “rightness” I had initially felt was real and true. That sense, that knowing, was what I could trust.

So I gave myself time to simply feel the chaos of emotions that the other parts of me had churned up. After they subsided, and I sat in the blessed silence following the storm, a crystal-clear insight floated upward into my awareness. I suddenly realized that the sober voice who had tried to caution me from getting too excited about all of this was vibrating strongly within my energy field. She was the one proclaiming a very commonly held belief in mass consciousness that the whole thing was simply too good to be true. She had waited expectantly for the other shoe to drop.

And so it had dropped.

I could see with new eagle-eye vision that I had created the whole experience. The initial positive response from Anita’s assistant reflected my own initial enthusiasm and sense of destiny about the interview. The sudden halt in communication mirrored back the deeply held expectation that it was simply too good to be true. In that moment of recognition I declared, “Nothing is too good to be true!” It became my new mantra, and as I repeated it to myself I felt better and better.

And from that better-feeling place I decided to email Anita’s assistant one more time. I boldly ignored the worrier within who cautioned that I was being a pest. (She is such a killjoy.)

Within hours a response came back. Her assistant thanked me profusely for emailing again, explaining that their server had crashed and they’d lost many emails, including mine. They had no record of my email address or even the correct spelling of my name and were unable to contact me. Our warm and friendly communications resumed, and the interview was scheduled.

In one of the last emails I sent, I told Anita’s assistant that it had been a real pleasure communicating with her. What came back was a response from Anita herself, saying the pleasure had been all hers. It turns out her assistant had copied Anita on all of our emails, and Anita had actually read them. She was genuinely looking forward to our interview. Just as my inner sense of “rightness” had predicted she would.

If you haven’t already, I hope you’ll take the time to listen to our amazing conversation, which is posted on my website. I’ve received so many positive comments about it and I feel honored to have been part of something that has such tremendous potential to support radical healing and transformation across the globe.

And here’s what is so amazing to me as I reflect on the experience: it was created through love and trust in that deep sense of “rightness” I’ve mentioned several times. Powerful old beliefs such as, “It’s too good to be true” and “The other shoe is going to drop” almost prevented the interview from taking place – but love is always stronger than fear. When we dare to trust love, when we dare to honor our inner sense of “rightness,” we can move mountains. (Or at least, we can remediate the effects of a failed server.)

Of course, I’m also struck by how entrenched those fear-based beliefs are, and how powerfully the deeper expectations they generate can affect our experience. Yet the more aware we become of them, the less power they have over us. Be willing to acknowledge those ancient beliefs and let them go. Be willing to declare a new reality for yourself, such as my “Nothing is too good to be true!” mantra.

In a recent Facebook post, I commented on the power of letting go of the fear-based beliefs arising from mass consciousness:

“Sometimes we're afraid to let ourselves be happy; there's an underlying fear in mass consciousness that if we feel too good, the "other shoe" is going to drop and something unwanted will happen. But what if there is no other shoe? What if the happier you are, the more fulfilled and generous and secure you become?”

One of my friends posted back a couple of weeks later:

“Suzanne, I have been trying to stay with the concept of enjoying the moment and not looking at good things with the underlying thought of “when will the other shoe drop?” I find that I am enjoying the good stuff even more than I had before, and that the snafus are actually LESS affecting, because I am riding on a higher life line…”

YES! Let’s all declare that there is no other shoe! The more deeply we appreciate all that is good, and the more we expect good to flow into our lives, the better our lives get. And the better our lives get, the greater is our gift to the world through our very example and presence.

Trust your good. Trust your own sense of destiny and “rightness.” Dare to believe that nothing is too good to be true.

Destiny is Calling

The following is excerpted from an article to be published in the September issue of Living.Well Magazine (www.livingwellmagazine.net), which is based on a recent interview I conducted with best-selling author Tama Kieves upon the publication of her newest book, Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work! Many of you know that Tama has been my beloved coach and mentor for years. She is amazingly gifted and profoundly inspiring. For those who don’t yet know Tama, she is an honors graduate of Harvard Law School who left her law practice to write and help others live their calling. In addition to Inspired & Unstoppable, she is the bestselling author of This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love. She is a sought-after speaker and career/success coach who has helped thousands worldwide to discover, launch, and thrive in the life, calling and businesses of their dreams. To learn more about Tama visit www.TamaKieves.com or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

“You are meant to succeed in the work you love.

Your desire will take you all the way.”

So begins – and ends – Tama Kieves’ potent and profoundly inspiring new book, Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work! And trust me when I tell you that everything in between is so moving, so compelling, so clear and brilliant and uplifting that you will want to read it again and again. It could easily become your most trusted guide on the journey of living a truly awake and inspired life.

And yes, you are meant to be inspired. You are meant to bring your dreams to life. No matter what your doubts may be telling you, you are meant to succeed in the work you love. Let’s hear it again from Tama:

“Hello, my courageous friend – you, trying on magnificence. There’s a ticket in your bones and you know it. You know who you are meant to be.

Still you insist on doubting yourself, calling it “realism,” to limit yourself to powerlessness. You’d rather “play it safe,” hedge your bets, trust sweetness only some of the time. But dear one, Wild Amazing Visionary people are the new safe. We are agents of invincible faculties. And we’re blazing trails of abundance.

There is nothing wavy gravy about believing in your wildest dreams. Your inspired inner voice is as real as bunions or bouillon soup. It’s not putting your head in the sand to believe in a higher intelligence than mass consciousness. It’s putting your head in the game. Love is the strongest power on the planet. You want results? Trust your Inspired Self. It’s a presence and intelligence that dwarfs everything else.”

If you’re like me, those words not only wake you up, they light you up. And that’s the magic of Tama Kieves. I can honestly tell you that reading Tama’s first book, This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love, was a life-changing experience for me. It provided an alchemical mix of inspiration and uncommon sense that powerfully bolstered my quivering choice to leave a high-paying corporate job and pursue my fledgling dreams.

That was over nine years ago, and without Tama’s brilliant writing and deeply insightful coaching, I may have given up on my dreams before they ever saw the light of day. And now, as I dare to take my dreams to a new level, Tama’s voice is here once again to champion and inspire and guide me. Perfect timing.

I joked with her that she must have written Inspired & Unstoppable just for me. She said that, in truth, she wrote it for herself. Her own burning desire to wildly succeed in the work she loves kept bumping up against all the advice “out there” about how to do it. Many experts emphasized the need to take massive action – through massively unappealing action steps – that left her feeling inferior and doubting whether she could really be successful.

On the other hand, there were plenty of other, more create-your-own-reality-oriented experts telling her how simple it could be if she could just align her energy with the perfect meditations and affirmations. Simple, perhaps. Easy…not always. What she really craved was guidance about how to find her own power and her own way to succeed.

Inspired & Unstoppable arose from that deep desire within her to define and create wild, inspired success. And not only did it satisfy Tama’s craving, it will undoubtedly satisfy yours.

Early on in the book Tama offers a distinction between what she calls linear success and inspired success. We all know what linear success looks like: we line ourselves up to get the right education so we can get the right job, and we go after the right job to get the right salary and bonus, and we spend the salary and bonus on the right house and the right investments in our 401-k plan. It is predictable and firmly sanctioned by our culture.

But as Tama said so simply and eloquently in our conversation, many of us feel crippled by that kind of success. We’re longing for something more, something different, something real. (But we still want plenty of money for the homes and experiences and investments that matter to us!) We don’t want to succeed by checking off the right boxes. We want to live an inspired life. We want to experience inspired success.

Inspired success is not about formulas and rules. It comes from a different source – an inner one. Tama explains that inspired success is what happens when we learn to listen to our desires and trust them, from moment to moment. It’s all about following the heat…the heat of your innermost dreams.

And what about those who aren’t yet clear what their dreams really are? If you’re like many people, you may feel frustrated or dissatisfied with your current job but you may not have a particular desire to do something else. I asked Tama about this and she shared some golden nuggets of insight.

It is often true that if you don’t know what you love – or think you don’t know – you simply need to take some action on whatever small nudge or impulse you do have. Rarely does a fully formed picture of your bold, beautiful life show up in your mind, all at once, as this big “Aha! THIS is what I’m meant to do!”

As Tama said in our interview, this is not a “head thing.” We keep waiting in our heads to be convinced, but it’s the experience of stepping toward our passion that convinces us. I’ve often said to clients that in order to create work they love, they have to let love lead. And often that “love” is a glimmer, an impulse that keeps showing up, or an idea that delights us.

Many of us are afraid to trust something as insubstantial as a glimmer, which brings me to another of the golden nuggets Tama shared during our interview and in the first chapter of her book: We must choose to be called. Wildly succeeding in your life’s work is as much a decision as an experience. When you choose to believe you are called – and that your dreams are the call – you choose everything else differently. You think differently. You live differently. You learn to respect your desires rather than to diminish them.

It is, in many ways, the most important choice you can make.

And when you make that choice, you begin to see success differently, too. Tama explained that so many of us are basing our success on current circumstances – and too readily judging ourselves as failures, particularly if we’re not already making tons of money doing what we love. She said with great clarity and passion that success “…is not in the details. It’s in the destiny.” It’s about following your desire, inclination and instinct moment to moment. Fundamentally, inspired success “is knowing that you’re doing the right thing with your time here on earth.”

I cannot imagine a higher or more loving definition of success. And I cannot imagine a book more gloriously suited to helping us experience that kind of wild, inspired success than Inspired & Unstoppable. In next month’s column I’ll share with you Tama’s insights and wisdom on dissolving limiting beliefs, navigating through fear and – yes – facing the “money issue.”

But for now see if you can really let this sink in:

“You are meant to succeed in the work you love.

Your desire will take you all the way.”

Until next month…see where your desires want to take you right now.

An Open Letter to Anyone Who Feels Stuck in a Job They Hate

There is something I want you to know.


You are not here just to pay the bills. You are not here to sacrifice everything that enlivens you so you can retire (much later, of course) and then start to enjoy life. You are not supposed to be chained to a job that demands relentless productivity and ignores your creative spirit. Being unhappy and resigned does not serve you…or your family.

And there is something else I want you to know.

You are brilliant in a way that only you can be. And your special brand of brilliance is revealed through your longings. What you want is an expression of who you are, so honoring what you want is the most essential way to honor yourself. And honoring yourself is the most essential way to liberate the innate creativity and generosity that uplifts everyone around you.

I have coached countless people over the years and find, time and again, that the starting point (or restarting point!) for living a deeply fulfilled life is to give yourself permission to want what you really want. Not what you think you should want, or what others think you should want, or what you think is practical right now. What you truly, deeply want. What you wish for.

I’ve always felt that wishful thinking gets a bad rap. Empowered with your focus and devotion, wishful thinking becomes a visionary, creative force. And that’s because your innermost wishes and dreams are neither foolish nor impractical. They are not random. They are specific to you, and they are your calling to the life you came here to live.

You may have heard all this before and possibly dismissed it as just so much – well, wishful thinking. It probably seems especially impractical if you’re buried in an overcommitted life with a demanding job and a parade of never-ending expenses to cover. But consider this: the very thinking that dismisses wishful thinking is what got you to this place. Maybe it’s time to consider a new perspective.

Which, happily, is the one thing that will shift your life in amazing ways: a change in perspective. Here is a little-understood dynamic that, as you begin to work with it, creates what most people would consider miracles: what you focus on is what expands in your life. Another way to say it is that energy follows attention – or, as a friend of mine who recently became certified as a yoga instructor so eloquently stated, “Where the mind goes, the prana follows.”

I think we have only begun to understand the vast creative power of our attention. What we attend to is what we create and experience. So when you start attending to your wishes and dreams, rather than dismissing them, you realize them. Can you let that sink in, deeply?

When you pay attention to your dreams – earnestly, with love - they become real.

You may think you already know this – well, you do already know this – but chances are, if you’re not yet living a deeply fulfilled life, you haven’t fully trusted it. You’re not living from this simple yet challenging truth…yet. Your attention is diverted in countless ways to things you’ve been taught to believe are important, but may have nothing to do with how you want to live your life. Like many of us, you may have taken on the conditioning of a fear-based culture that is quick to tell you what is wrong and maybe downright ludicrous with your dreams. You may have unwittingly learned how to doubt your talents and abilities. You may have dismissed your dreams because you can’t see a way, right this minute, for them to generate income.

You haven’t been taught how to honor and nurture and develop your dreams. You haven’t been encouraged to listen deeply within for guidance about next steps. You haven’t yet noticed that the voice you think is “practical” is really just scared. You haven’t been shown how to sift through the myriad thoughts and experiences of your life and consciously choose to align with the ones that light you up.

But you can, and you will – all it takes is your intention, your willingness…and maybe some loving support from a good friend or coach. And let me tell you, it is well worth the effort. You can start right here, right now by simply deciding to change your perspective. Decide that you will pay attention to your dreams, and begin to notice any thought, memory, idea or experience that lines up with them. Look for things to line up with them.

This is a deceptively simple yet potent practice that yields surprising results, and it works because of two related dynamics of energy and attention. The first is that we tend to see only what we’re looking for, and the second is the one I mentioned above: what we focus on is what expands in our lives. So first you need to make the choice to look for anything and everything that lines up with your dreams. Start by spending some quality time with your innermost thoughts and wishes…then begin to consider all the ways your dreams might be possible rather than all the ways they aren’t…then decide to look for anything in your outer world that already displays elements of your dream, or could be a resource needed to bring it to life. Keep deepening and expanding your focus on those things. Be willing to let your newly-focused attention open you to fresh insights, ideas and next steps.

Just start there. Pay attention to where you are paying attention, and keep choosing to pay attention to what you know, in your heart of hearts, matters to you. Choose again and again. Give yourself some quality time and space to listen inward and see what your inner Wise One is nudging you to do. Then do it.

And let me know what happens.