Destiny is Calling

The following is excerpted from an article to be published in the September issue of Living.Well Magazine (www.livingwellmagazine.net), which is based on a recent interview I conducted with best-selling author Tama Kieves upon the publication of her newest book, Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work! Many of you know that Tama has been my beloved coach and mentor for years. She is amazingly gifted and profoundly inspiring. For those who don’t yet know Tama, she is an honors graduate of Harvard Law School who left her law practice to write and help others live their calling. In addition to Inspired & Unstoppable, she is the bestselling author of This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love. She is a sought-after speaker and career/success coach who has helped thousands worldwide to discover, launch, and thrive in the life, calling and businesses of their dreams. To learn more about Tama visit www.TamaKieves.com or follow her on Facebook and Twitter.

“You are meant to succeed in the work you love.

Your desire will take you all the way.”

So begins – and ends – Tama Kieves’ potent and profoundly inspiring new book, Inspired & Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work! And trust me when I tell you that everything in between is so moving, so compelling, so clear and brilliant and uplifting that you will want to read it again and again. It could easily become your most trusted guide on the journey of living a truly awake and inspired life.

And yes, you are meant to be inspired. You are meant to bring your dreams to life. No matter what your doubts may be telling you, you are meant to succeed in the work you love. Let’s hear it again from Tama:

“Hello, my courageous friend – you, trying on magnificence. There’s a ticket in your bones and you know it. You know who you are meant to be.

Still you insist on doubting yourself, calling it “realism,” to limit yourself to powerlessness. You’d rather “play it safe,” hedge your bets, trust sweetness only some of the time. But dear one, Wild Amazing Visionary people are the new safe. We are agents of invincible faculties. And we’re blazing trails of abundance.

There is nothing wavy gravy about believing in your wildest dreams. Your inspired inner voice is as real as bunions or bouillon soup. It’s not putting your head in the sand to believe in a higher intelligence than mass consciousness. It’s putting your head in the game. Love is the strongest power on the planet. You want results? Trust your Inspired Self. It’s a presence and intelligence that dwarfs everything else.”

If you’re like me, those words not only wake you up, they light you up. And that’s the magic of Tama Kieves. I can honestly tell you that reading Tama’s first book, This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love, was a life-changing experience for me. It provided an alchemical mix of inspiration and uncommon sense that powerfully bolstered my quivering choice to leave a high-paying corporate job and pursue my fledgling dreams.

That was over nine years ago, and without Tama’s brilliant writing and deeply insightful coaching, I may have given up on my dreams before they ever saw the light of day. And now, as I dare to take my dreams to a new level, Tama’s voice is here once again to champion and inspire and guide me. Perfect timing.

I joked with her that she must have written Inspired & Unstoppable just for me. She said that, in truth, she wrote it for herself. Her own burning desire to wildly succeed in the work she loves kept bumping up against all the advice “out there” about how to do it. Many experts emphasized the need to take massive action – through massively unappealing action steps – that left her feeling inferior and doubting whether she could really be successful.

On the other hand, there were plenty of other, more create-your-own-reality-oriented experts telling her how simple it could be if she could just align her energy with the perfect meditations and affirmations. Simple, perhaps. Easy…not always. What she really craved was guidance about how to find her own power and her own way to succeed.

Inspired & Unstoppable arose from that deep desire within her to define and create wild, inspired success. And not only did it satisfy Tama’s craving, it will undoubtedly satisfy yours.

Early on in the book Tama offers a distinction between what she calls linear success and inspired success. We all know what linear success looks like: we line ourselves up to get the right education so we can get the right job, and we go after the right job to get the right salary and bonus, and we spend the salary and bonus on the right house and the right investments in our 401-k plan. It is predictable and firmly sanctioned by our culture.

But as Tama said so simply and eloquently in our conversation, many of us feel crippled by that kind of success. We’re longing for something more, something different, something real. (But we still want plenty of money for the homes and experiences and investments that matter to us!) We don’t want to succeed by checking off the right boxes. We want to live an inspired life. We want to experience inspired success.

Inspired success is not about formulas and rules. It comes from a different source – an inner one. Tama explains that inspired success is what happens when we learn to listen to our desires and trust them, from moment to moment. It’s all about following the heat…the heat of your innermost dreams.

And what about those who aren’t yet clear what their dreams really are? If you’re like many people, you may feel frustrated or dissatisfied with your current job but you may not have a particular desire to do something else. I asked Tama about this and she shared some golden nuggets of insight.

It is often true that if you don’t know what you love – or think you don’t know – you simply need to take some action on whatever small nudge or impulse you do have. Rarely does a fully formed picture of your bold, beautiful life show up in your mind, all at once, as this big “Aha! THIS is what I’m meant to do!”

As Tama said in our interview, this is not a “head thing.” We keep waiting in our heads to be convinced, but it’s the experience of stepping toward our passion that convinces us. I’ve often said to clients that in order to create work they love, they have to let love lead. And often that “love” is a glimmer, an impulse that keeps showing up, or an idea that delights us.

Many of us are afraid to trust something as insubstantial as a glimmer, which brings me to another of the golden nuggets Tama shared during our interview and in the first chapter of her book: We must choose to be called. Wildly succeeding in your life’s work is as much a decision as an experience. When you choose to believe you are called – and that your dreams are the call – you choose everything else differently. You think differently. You live differently. You learn to respect your desires rather than to diminish them.

It is, in many ways, the most important choice you can make.

And when you make that choice, you begin to see success differently, too. Tama explained that so many of us are basing our success on current circumstances – and too readily judging ourselves as failures, particularly if we’re not already making tons of money doing what we love. She said with great clarity and passion that success “…is not in the details. It’s in the destiny.” It’s about following your desire, inclination and instinct moment to moment. Fundamentally, inspired success “is knowing that you’re doing the right thing with your time here on earth.”

I cannot imagine a higher or more loving definition of success. And I cannot imagine a book more gloriously suited to helping us experience that kind of wild, inspired success than Inspired & Unstoppable. In next month’s column I’ll share with you Tama’s insights and wisdom on dissolving limiting beliefs, navigating through fear and – yes – facing the “money issue.”

But for now see if you can really let this sink in:

“You are meant to succeed in the work you love.

Your desire will take you all the way.”

Until next month…see where your desires want to take you right now.

An Open Letter to Anyone Who Feels Stuck in a Job They Hate

There is something I want you to know.


You are not here just to pay the bills. You are not here to sacrifice everything that enlivens you so you can retire (much later, of course) and then start to enjoy life. You are not supposed to be chained to a job that demands relentless productivity and ignores your creative spirit. Being unhappy and resigned does not serve you…or your family.

And there is something else I want you to know.

You are brilliant in a way that only you can be. And your special brand of brilliance is revealed through your longings. What you want is an expression of who you are, so honoring what you want is the most essential way to honor yourself. And honoring yourself is the most essential way to liberate the innate creativity and generosity that uplifts everyone around you.

I have coached countless people over the years and find, time and again, that the starting point (or restarting point!) for living a deeply fulfilled life is to give yourself permission to want what you really want. Not what you think you should want, or what others think you should want, or what you think is practical right now. What you truly, deeply want. What you wish for.

I’ve always felt that wishful thinking gets a bad rap. Empowered with your focus and devotion, wishful thinking becomes a visionary, creative force. And that’s because your innermost wishes and dreams are neither foolish nor impractical. They are not random. They are specific to you, and they are your calling to the life you came here to live.

You may have heard all this before and possibly dismissed it as just so much – well, wishful thinking. It probably seems especially impractical if you’re buried in an overcommitted life with a demanding job and a parade of never-ending expenses to cover. But consider this: the very thinking that dismisses wishful thinking is what got you to this place. Maybe it’s time to consider a new perspective.

Which, happily, is the one thing that will shift your life in amazing ways: a change in perspective. Here is a little-understood dynamic that, as you begin to work with it, creates what most people would consider miracles: what you focus on is what expands in your life. Another way to say it is that energy follows attention – or, as a friend of mine who recently became certified as a yoga instructor so eloquently stated, “Where the mind goes, the prana follows.”

I think we have only begun to understand the vast creative power of our attention. What we attend to is what we create and experience. So when you start attending to your wishes and dreams, rather than dismissing them, you realize them. Can you let that sink in, deeply?

When you pay attention to your dreams – earnestly, with love - they become real.

You may think you already know this – well, you do already know this – but chances are, if you’re not yet living a deeply fulfilled life, you haven’t fully trusted it. You’re not living from this simple yet challenging truth…yet. Your attention is diverted in countless ways to things you’ve been taught to believe are important, but may have nothing to do with how you want to live your life. Like many of us, you may have taken on the conditioning of a fear-based culture that is quick to tell you what is wrong and maybe downright ludicrous with your dreams. You may have unwittingly learned how to doubt your talents and abilities. You may have dismissed your dreams because you can’t see a way, right this minute, for them to generate income.

You haven’t been taught how to honor and nurture and develop your dreams. You haven’t been encouraged to listen deeply within for guidance about next steps. You haven’t yet noticed that the voice you think is “practical” is really just scared. You haven’t been shown how to sift through the myriad thoughts and experiences of your life and consciously choose to align with the ones that light you up.

But you can, and you will – all it takes is your intention, your willingness…and maybe some loving support from a good friend or coach. And let me tell you, it is well worth the effort. You can start right here, right now by simply deciding to change your perspective. Decide that you will pay attention to your dreams, and begin to notice any thought, memory, idea or experience that lines up with them. Look for things to line up with them.

This is a deceptively simple yet potent practice that yields surprising results, and it works because of two related dynamics of energy and attention. The first is that we tend to see only what we’re looking for, and the second is the one I mentioned above: what we focus on is what expands in our lives. So first you need to make the choice to look for anything and everything that lines up with your dreams. Start by spending some quality time with your innermost thoughts and wishes…then begin to consider all the ways your dreams might be possible rather than all the ways they aren’t…then decide to look for anything in your outer world that already displays elements of your dream, or could be a resource needed to bring it to life. Keep deepening and expanding your focus on those things. Be willing to let your newly-focused attention open you to fresh insights, ideas and next steps.

Just start there. Pay attention to where you are paying attention, and keep choosing to pay attention to what you know, in your heart of hearts, matters to you. Choose again and again. Give yourself some quality time and space to listen inward and see what your inner Wise One is nudging you to do. Then do it.

And let me know what happens.

Your Most Important Job

This is an excerpt from the second of three articles, to be published in Living.Well Magazine, featuring highlights of my recent interview with Anita Moorjani, best-selling author of Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer to Near Death to True Healing. For the full article be sure to pick up the July issue of Living.Well Magazine! (www.LivingWellMagazine.net)

            How many times have you said to yourself, or been told by others, that you have to go after what you want, to pursue success and “make things happen” if you want a fulfilling life? This is a commonly held perspective in our goal-oriented culture that still prizes rugged individualism and a “pick-yourself-up-by-your-own-bootstraps” mentality. But what if there is a more elegant and harmonious way to manifests our desires and create lives we truly love? What if the whole idea of “making things happen” runs counter to the way our universe actually works? What if our lives are supposed to be filled with joy rather than struggle?

            Anita Moorjani believes we are meant to live joyful lives, an understanding she gained through her near death experience (NDE). The fact that so many of us are not living in joy doesn’t prove it isn’t possible or realistic; it simply reflects the all-too-common circumstance of our forgetting who we are – forgetting that we are magnificent beings who are deserving of good things coming to us.

            Which means that remembering who we are is central to living in joy.

This is how it “works.” Because we are living in an energy-based, interconnected universe, coming into inner alignment with who we really are creates shifts in the fabric of consciousness that generate reflective shifts in our outer world. (Did you get that?) Here is a perfect example of what I mean, which Anita told me about during our interview:

Some time after her NDE, when she was fully healed from cancer and beginning to share her story with the world via her blog, a group of skeptics began harshly criticizing her. They believed she was instilling false hope in people with cancer and wasn’t offering anything useful, since her experience wasn’t immediately replicable in a scientifically-controlled-experiment kind of way. At first she began defending her position, but quickly recognized that as a fear-based response pulling her into an old attack/defense dynamic that was leading nowhere. So she stepped back.

She stopped blogging for several months and used that time to go deeply within herself, to center again in her truth. And she came to the realization that, not only had her NDE been authentic to her and very real, her desire to share her story with others was just as real, and just as authentic: being the message - embodying the message - was being her authentic self.

            She referred to that realization as an awakening, and it arose from her intention to come into alignment with her inner truth. And it was just after the awakening that she was contacted by Hay House about the possibility of publishing her story as a book.  On her birthday, no less! 

            Prior to that time, she had begun writing a book and had been told by many people that there was already a glut of books in that genre, that she would need to find an agent and face an uphill climb to even be considered by a publisher. Anita had no idea how to do any of that. She told me she didn’t even try the struggling, fear-based way of “making that happen.” She trusted that if the world was ready for her message, the message would be delivered to the world.

            And through the process of going inward to resolve the doubt that was triggered by the skeptics, she gained newfound clarity that she had to do her part in order for the universe to respond. Her message could not be delivered to the world until she came into complete alignment with the truth that sharing the message was an embodiment of her authentic self. It was hers to do, because it flowed from who she was.

 In her book she describes the intricate, synchronistic details that led to Wayne Dyer finding her story and deciding it needed to be published. She said in our conversation that all of those synchronicities were happening as she was resolving her inner doubt. She stated emphatically that the outer experience of being contacted to publish her story was “truly, totally, 100%” a reflection of her inner work.

            Anita understands now that all of us have the same job: to align ourselves with our own truth. She spoke for each one of us when she told me, “When I realize who I am, then what is mine comes to me.” She explained that when we “go after” things, we’re hammering into our minds the false belief that we are not already worthy, that we have to work hard to get what we want because it’s “out there” and in pursuing it we can prove our worthiness to have it. Yet our worth is a given; it does not need to be proven. It simply is. And in this interconnected, vibrational universe, when our awareness is tuned into the vibration of “who I really am,” we’re already connected with “what I desire.” It isn’t separate from who we are, it’s an extension or expression of who we are.

            So the real art of manifesting our authentic desires, as Anita says so clearly in the book, is not to go after them, but instead to expand our consciousness to allow them into our experience. That expansion is a natural outgrowth of, first, centering in our truth, and then allowing ourselves to feel our connection with nature and All-That-Is, to sense ourselves as part of a much larger Whole that is continually unfolding and expanding. She told me that she takes time each day to get quiet, to go within and find that centered connection. In her words, “I feel I’m part of something much bigger, and my part in it counts, it matters.” (my emphasis)

            This is what I love about Anita’s message. It so deeply affirms what I have believed in my heart of heart for years, which has been the foundation of my coaching and teaching: that who we are matters, that what we love or long for is a natural extension of who we are in this physical realm, and that not only does honoring our authentic longings bring us fulfillment, it is our perfect way of serving the Whole. I could not imagine a more elegantly and beautifully designed system. When we love and honor our true selves, we love and serve others in a genuine and joyful way.

            So let’s follow Anita’s lead.  Set an intention to be true to your authentic self, and be open to exploring what that means…to you. Give yourself some quality time and space in which to center within yourself and feel your connection with the larger Whole. Be mindful of your feelings and what they reveal to you about what you truly like, and what you’re genuinely willing to do - or not do. Look for ways to honor and express your unique magnificence.

            Remember that you matter.

            And remember Anita’s experience. She literally healed herself of cancer in being aware of who she really is, and in continuing to go deeply within herself to find and live her truth, she transformed an experience of self-doubt into one of magnificent self-expression. In daring to honor herself, she has helped countless others through her book, her continuing generosity in sharing her message through multiple media, and indeed her very presence.

            Your presence is every bit as transformative. Just…be yourself.

Retreat TO Reality

This time two weeks ago I was relaxing at the beach, reveling in gratitude for the spiritual retreat I had just led with six inspiring women. We gathered on Friday evening, all day Saturday and for several hours on Sunday. The theme of the retreat was self-love, and as the weekend unfolded we shed layers of habits and doubts and should’s and must do’s – and to each of us, a brilliant inner core of magnificence was revealed. It was profound and wonderful and genuinely transformative. It was also, dare I say, fun.


And very, very real.

Let me say that another way: we were living in reality.

I’ve noticed that many people have a strong tendency, after having experienced something like a retreat or a deeply nourishing vacation, to view it as somehow apart from reality. How many times have you heard yourself or others say, as the vacation winds down and it’s time to go home, “Now it’s back to reality!”

Somehow we’ve come to associate “reality” with work and responsibility and obligation and struggle, oddly ignoring or marginalizing the moments of our lives when we experience joy, contentment, peace or delight. We haven’t yet fully grasped that reality is what we make it, and we’re “making it” every moment of our lives with our intention, our energy and our attention. Every bit of our experience is real, and we have a lot of creative power to experience reality in fresh ways that empower and uplift us rather than through past conditioning that disempowers and diminishes us.

When we dare to step away from that old conditioning and immerse ourselves for a day or a weekend or a week with a clear intention for self-connection, we aren’t stepping away from reality. We’re actually plunging ourselves into it. The sparkling, funny, inspired, creative, bold and brilliant self we discover in moments of profound awareness is who we really are – it is our most authentic Self. And giving that Self a little air time is amazingly refreshing. It rights our perspective and reveals our intuitive knowing about how we want to live our lives. It reminds us of our talent and creativity and absolute worthiness to live a life we love. It helps us remember that it is only through loving ourselves that we can grow into our magnificence.

And once we’ve awakened to this truth of who we really are, we can take that expanded awareness back into our day-to-day lives. We can choose to set aside time to remember those moments of profound self-connection - and bring them into the present moment through our loving attention to those memories. We can include in our daily lives the practices we learned at the retreat, simple things such as meditation and journaling and chanting that connect us with our magnificent, authentic Self. We can set a clear and firm intention to live true to that Self, and let that intention guide our moment-to-moment choices.

And that’s really what it’s all about. Stepping away from our usual habits of thinking and doing, with the express intention for connecting with our deepest truth, opens our eyes to the many subtle – and not so subtle - ways we may be diminishing or even betraying ourselves in daily life. With that newfound awareness, along with a strengthened connection to the brilliant inner core of our being, we can declare a renewed intention to live true to ourselves. And from that intention will arise new choices – in everything from how we think to what we prioritize to what we let go of – that will change our lives.

In other words, we can bring the reality of the retreat – an expanded awareness of who we really are - into the reality of our day-to-day lives. And in doing so, we create a whole new reality.

That’s why I’m a huge fan of retreats, both the extended kind and the mini-retreats we create by giving ourselves time out each day for quiet self-connection. They are absolutely essential to a deeply fulfilled life, for it is only through profound self-connection that we come to know ourselves, and it is only through knowing ourselves that we can fulfill our unique potential…and it is only through fulfilling our unique potential that we can live in joy.

During our closing ceremony at the retreat, we spoke aloud the following poem by Raymond Carver. May it inspire you to retreat into the reality of your true, beloved Self.

Late Fragments

And did you get what you wanted in this life, even so?


     I did.


And what did you want?


     To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

All We Are Is Love

The following is excerpted from an article to be published in the June issue of Living.Well Magazine. The full article will be the first in a series of three which summarize the highlights of my extraordinary interview with Anita Moorjani, author of the best-selling book Dying To Be Me: My Journey from Cancer to Near Death to True Healing. You can listen to the amazing conversation here.



Let me tell you a little about Anita Moorjani. She is kind. She is generous. She is warm and supportive. She is funny. She is incredibly wise. She is gracious. She is respectful. She is someone with whom I would love to have talked for hours. (And very nearly did, thanks to a technology breakdown during our across-the-globe call and her generosity in making up the time we lost…and then giving me even more.) If Oprah still had her talk show, you can bet Anita would be a sought-after guest.


And that’s because her message is so profound and inspiring. It is also elegantly simple, and our busy, complexity-loving minds might be tempted to dismiss it as simplistic. Yet it is a message that, as we let it sink into our hearts and minds and the very marrow of our bones, can literally transform our lives

Here it is: We are magnificent beings whose very essence is love. Our forgetting of that truth gives rise to all that we would consider unwanted in our lives and in our world; our remembering of it restores us to wholeness and joy.

This is where Anita and I started our conversation. She spoke with great clarity and passion about the realization she gained, during her near death experience (NDE), that she was loved unconditionally – and that she deserved this love just because she existed. She understood with complete clarity that we are not here to work or perform or prove ourselves worthy, and all of our efforts to do so are futile: there is no need to prove what is already given. In her words, “Because you have been put on this planet, you are deserving of good things coming to you.”

This may be a message you have heard before. (I hope so.) It is certainly one that I have heard and embraced and shared with my students and clients. And yet hearing it from Anita opened me to feel it more deeply, to know its truth with greater certainty. From my perspective, her very presence – and her generous, loving commitment to share her realizations with the world - affirm this potent message in a way that helps us embody it more fully.

Anita came to this understanding during her extraordinary NDE. She recognized that her cancer was not some karmic punishment for past wrongdoing, nor was it her “fault” for having made unhealthy choices. She saw clearly that her cancer was the manifestation of her own magnificence that had been repressed. In effect, her magnificence had been turned inward, which was an unnatural state; it was meant to radiate outward. And she knew with equal clarity that, in returning to life in this physical dimension, her magnificence expressed would heal her body.

As she explains so simply and eloquently in her book and interviews, it was fear that had repressed her magnificence - fear that she wasn’t good enough (and, later, fear specifically of getting cancer). Like so many of us, she grew up feeling inadequate in many ways and thinking she needed to change in order to be liked or accepted. Her story is one of both racial and gender biases, yet the conditions giving rise to any of us feeling inadequate are many. Anita said during our conversation, and I would agree with her, it’s likely that most of us feel inadequate or “not enough” in some way – and nothing could be further from the truth.

And this gets to the breathtakingly simple heart of her message: it is in realizing, or remembering, who we really are that we open ourselves to vibrant health and joyful living. And how might we do that in the absence of something as dramatic as a near death experience? This is the really good news: we open ourselves to remembering our magnificence by cultivating genuine self-love.

Since our very essence is love, it is through self-love that we connect with our authentic, magnificent selves. And in being our authentic selves we live the joy-filled lives we came here to live. In fact, this is where things get really juicy and fun. As Anita said during our conversation, “The more authentic you are, the more you attract what is really yours.” We talked about the pure creative power of being, of allowing and attracting into our experience that which we desire.

More on that later. For now I’d like to leave you with the heartfelt message that Anita shared at the end of our conversation. She said, “Find your joy! Listen to your emotions and do what makes you happy.” We may be tempted to dismiss that as impractical, but honoring this truth is what restored Anita to full health and vibrancy, and put her life on a whole new trajectory. What could be more practical than being healthy, happy and successful?

And we can begin that new trajectory in our own lives by committing to loving ourselves, right now. Let’s be willing to be amazed at how magnificent we really are.

Are You Willing To Be Happy Right Now?

I often use the phrase “spiritual path” to describe the journey of my life. At its most fundamental, I would describe being on a spiritual path as nurturing a deep longing to know the true nature of the Universe, who we are and why we’re here. (Which is not exactly the kind of conversation that makes me the darling of hip cocktail parties. But it’s pretty good for my writing career, so I’m not complaining.)


I’ve also been on a path of opening to ever-deeper experiences of personal growth and fulfillment and, yes, success. Success on all levels, here in the material world.

Fortunately for me, I’ve discovered that these two intentions are not at all opposed to each other; in fact, I believe they reflect different aspects of the same intention. When we stop separating “spiritual” from “material,” spiritual enlightenment – waking up to our true magnificence – opens us to personal fulfillment in this glorious material world we inhabit, however we wish to define that for ourselves.

There is one particular aspect to both spiritual enlightenment and personal fulfillment that has captivated me for a long time. It’s what I call unconditional happiness, or the innate capacity we have to source our deepest sense of well-being from the Source – the Source of all Life - rather than depending on outer circumstances to be a certain way in order to be happy. Or, in simpler terms, it’s the ability to be happy and at peace no matter what.

From a spiritual perspective this capacity reflects our oneness with Source, with God or the Universe or whatever you name the Life-giving pulse of creation. It is our ability to experience and appreciate our divine magnificence and not feel diminished by the seeming limitations of our current material circumstances.

From a personal fulfillment perspective, this capacity is crucial in raising and sustaining our vibration so that we are on the same wavelength with all that we desire to create and experience in life. In other words, thanks to the vibrational nature of this universe wherein everything is, fundamentally, energy vibrating at particular frequencies, when we vibrate “happiness” we have access to things we find uplifting.

I always find the metaphor of TV channels particularly helpful: when we’re on the “happiness” channel, the thoughts we think and the actions we take and the opportunities we attract are ones that naturally express our happiness. But we have to get ourselves there first; we have to tune ourselves to that frequency.

Which brings us back to learning to be happy and at peace no matter what.

At first this concept seemed almost preposterous to me. How could I possibly be happy if things weren’t going the way I wanted them to go? And yet, like so many spiritual concepts I have explored, it resonated as “truth” at the very core of my being, in spite of seeming absurd to my “rational” mind. So I set an intention to cultivate that capacity, that state of being: I decided I wanted to be happy no matter what. (But I would still prefer the matters of my life to be pleasing to me!)

And before I move on, let me clarify - by “happy” I don’t mean giggly or wildly exuberant, although both of those experiences are welcome. I mean deeply at peace, content, and resting in the knowing that all is truly well. It also means holding a sense of optimism and excitement about my future. That’s how I wanted to feel, no matter what.

I had no idea where to start.

So I started with just the intention, and a willingness to be open and curious about how it could be cultivated. I’ve explored everything from meditation to prayer to journaling about what I appreciate in my life to looking for positive aspects in even the most challenging situations to reading inspiring books to simply learning to pause when I feel frustrated or unhappy and just take some slow, deep breaths. And I’ve used mantras and affirmations to great effect, I must admit! I’ve practiced looking for different interpretations of events that upset me, which has been tremendously helpful.

And uneven as it may be, I have made…progress.

Fast forward to an afternoon several weeks ago, sitting in my living room after having had a particularly satisfying and inspiring conversation with a dear friend of mine. I hung up the phone and literally basked in the luscious, uplifting energy we had created. It was glorious. I felt really, really good – dare I say happy, at peace and deeply content. Just the way I wanted to feel.

Then my mind did a rather obnoxious thing – it started reminding me of all the things in my life that really weren’t going as well as I’d like them to go, beginning with the ongoing challenge of regulating my sweet cat Toby’s diabetes. It all went downhill from there, and in a matter of seconds I was feeling really, really bad.

Wow, that was fast. If ever I needed clear evidence of the power of our thoughts to create our experience, I got it in that moment. I was not enjoying my experience.

And then…and then…out of the blue came a thought completely unlike the complaints and worries that were swirling in my mind. It said, quietly but firmly, “So…are you willing to be happy anyway?” I paused in a sort of confusion – where had that come from? And into that pause arose a bubble of happiness and delight so palpable and life-giving I literally laughed out loud and said – out loud – “Yes! I am willing to be happy anyway!”

I felt really, really good again. (I believe I even felt giggly and wildly exuberant.) It all seemed so simple in that moment, so clear: my ability to feel good had absolutely nothing to do with the current circumstances of my life. It had everything to do with my intention and willingness to feel good. In that moment, I really “got it.”

Since then, the clarity of that moment has dimmed just a bit, yet it’s still with me. I’ve had moments of feeling down about various things, for sure. And yet, as soon as I remember to do so, I ask myself: “So…are you willing to be happy anyway?” My answer is always yes, even if my access to “happy” in that moment feels limited to just feeling “okay” or reminding myself that this, too, shall pass and then taking some nourishing breaths. Slowly but surely, I am getting better and better at lifting myself up to a place where I feel genuinely at peace.

That moment in my living room was truly a moment of grace. I didn’t plan it or demand it or even negotiate for it. It was a gift. Yet that gift could not have been received had I not been open to receive it. And it was my intention to cultivate peace and happiness, along with my ongoing willingness and curiosity about how that might look, that created the opening for grace to pour in.

This fresh inflow of Grace is available to all of us. Are you ready to receive yours? Trust the power of your intention - and your willingness to find ways to creatively support it – to open yourself to that life-giving Grace. It is the power that creates worlds, and it is yours to use to create your world.

Copyright © 2012

Suzanne E. Eder

Ode to the Easy Button

Here I sit, staring once again at a blank screen and wondering what I can share with you that might be helpful, illuminating or uplifting. The screen stares back, mutely. I shift positions in my chair, then look out the window. It’s such a gorgeous, almost-spring day and I begin to daydream about my upcoming trip to the beach. I look back at the computer screen.


It’s still blank.

So I get up and drink a glass of water and then slather moisturizer on my hands. (I just can’t type with dry hands.) I sit back down again and cast around in my mind for inspiring or thought-provoking perspectives on the journey of creating a deeply fulfilling life. Let’s see…what are the teachings and suggestions my clients find most helpful?

My mind seems as blank as the screen.

I let my gaze drift and it lands on a small object that sits in an honored spot next to my computer: my Easy button from Staples. There it is, all bright and shiny and compact, with the word “EASY” in cheerful white letters across the top. I tap it so I can hear the words, “That was easy!” spoken with the confidence and enthusiasm I want to feel. I tap it again and can’t help but chuckle. Okay, one more time…funnier still. I love my Easy button!

And I realize this seemingly silly toy has done exactly what I wanted it to do: it’s helped me relax and remember that life isn’t really as hard and serious as my small self would have me believe. Which, it so happens, is one of the teachings I offer that my clients find most helpful. Now, isn’t that convenient?

So let me tell you about the Easy button. A friend of mine told me that a friend of hers, who lives in Texas, gives Staples Easy buttons as gifts to her students and clients, which I thought was brilliant. I immediately ordered 20 of them so I could do the same for my clients and students. And naturally, I gave one to myself. I intentionally placed it next to my computer because I do a lot of my work here and I am enthusiastically committed to my work being fun and, dare I day – easy. (Not boring or mindless, but without struggle.)

As I know so well, our intention and attention are powerfully creative: what we choose to focus on is what expands in our lives. My intention is clear: I desire an ever-greater sense of ease. The next step is to practice focusing my attention on the experience of ease in my life. That’s where the Easy button comes in.

So…any and every time I complete something quickly or easily, I hit the Easy button. Any time I get interrupted and find myself able to get right back into what I was doing, I hit the Easy button. Any time an email or call comes in with a message that inspires me or brings a needed solution to a challenge, I hit the Easy button. Every time I check something off my to-do list, I hit the Easy button. Every time I meet a deadline, I hit the Easy button.

I’ve started making a game of looking for any and every excuse to tap the Easy button and hear that cheerful voice. Sometimes I hit it when I want something to be easy. Sometimes it gets a tap when I’ve taken a really nice, deep breath that relaxes me. Sometimes I treat myself to “That was easy!” when something completely unrelated to my work goes well, such as giving my cat his insulin shot without his throwing me a dirty look.

And sometimes I tap it when I have writer’s block.

Just looking at it makes me smile, most of the time. It serves as a friendly reminder to lighten up, to relax, to laugh and have fun. That’s the special charm of the Easy button: it not only helps me focus my attention where I want to focus it – on ease - it does so in a light-hearted way. And that lightness of heart is so essential to a life of grace and flow, which is the kind of life I want to live.

The kind of life I want to live…that brings us back to intention. If you’d love to experience greater ease and flow in your life, begin by intending it. Keep your intention light – just acknowledge that ease is important and desirable and you want more of it. Then begin looking for anything and everything that feels easy or smooth or pleasurable, and let yourself pause to appreciate the ease in that moment. Take a nice deep breath. See if you can coax your mouth into a genuine smile.

Rinse and repeat. (No, wait, forget the rinse. Just keep repeating!)

You may be surprised at how quickly you begin to experience greater ease and flow in your life. Keep being willing to be surprised! See how easy you can allow things to be. Notice the new spiral you’re on: the easier it gets…the easier it gets. And you created it with your intention and your willingness to focus on ease. (Feel free to get a little assistance from the Easy button. I highly recommend it!)

And then imagine what else you can create with your intention and attention. Be creative and deliberate in your choices! Dare to name the experiences you wish to have. Imagine the most liberating, joy-filled life you can. What is it like? How do you feel in that life? What qualities are present?

Start your list: peace, passion, humor, grace, ease, inspiration, focus, respect, celebration, delight, radiance, vibrant health, joy, making a difference, having fun…the possibilities are endless. Choose what resonates deeply with you and just decide it’s important and you want more of it. Then practice focusing your attention on where it already exists, and pause to acknowledge and celebrate its appearance in your life every time. And hey, if you want to create a “Joy” or “Fun” button – go for it!

And let me know what happens. I’m always looking for inspiring things to write about.

Okay, I think I’m done here. Wow… that was easy.