Living the Dream

I have a client who recently returned from a high-profile, high-impact consulting engagement halfway across the world. In the interest of protecting her privacy I won’t share the actual details of the project, but I will tell you that her work is directly related to solving some of the most important environmental challenges of our time. It is essential, life-giving work that serves our planet and our species.

And her soul. This is the kind of work she’s dreamed of doing for years.

It’s also the kind of work that takes years to develop, and there were many times she was almost tempted to give up. Maybe she actually did give up a few times – tired and frustrated and overwhelmed – but then she gave in. She gave in to her deepest longings and highest aspirations, and she let them re-inspire her again and again.

She also, not incidentally, invested in coaching. This client, whom I’ll call Kristin just to keep the writing a bit simpler, decided that her dreams were worthy of her energy, attention and commitment. As a Ph.D. she knew she had the educational and technical background for the work she wanted to do – not to mention the kind of work experience that gleamed like a precious jewel on her resume – but she also knew there was something holding her back.

For Kristin, as for so many of us, the “something” holding her back was a constellation of fear-based beliefs that had fooled her into thinking all kinds of disempowering thoughts - and feeling the icky, suffocating fear that kept her stuck on the couch rather than reaching for the stars. This network of assumptions about who she was and how the world works was seductively convincing, and in spite of her obvious qualifications for doing the work she loved it kept whispering to her of hardship and failure.

You may recognize some of its “logic” in the following statements, commonly held by even the most educated and thoughtful among us:

…It’s a male-dominated world and I won’t be heard.

…It’s not what you know, it’s who you know, and I just don’t have a big network.

…I don’t have the kind of money I need to get this going.

…There are already so many _________ out there, how can I possibly compete?

I could go on and on, but I’m sure you get the drift. And I’m not saying there isn’t an element of truth in these observations, but what’s important to understand is this: there is always a deeper level of truth than what we see on the surface. In fact, these surface observations often cover another whole constellation of false beliefs that further hide the deeper truth and reveal, instead, our fear and vulnerability. Beliefs such as…

…I just don’t have what it takes.

…I’ve never been truly successful.

…I’m too introverted to really make this work.

…I don’t know how to do this.

Again, I could go on and on, but the point here is that, in the absence of the kind of loving and clear-minded support that a talented friend, mentor or coach can provide, it’s all too easy to let these conclusions about life – and about ourselves – remain unchallenged. It’s all too easy to see ourselves as small or limited in some way. It’s all too easy to see only obstacles before us, and fail to see the brilliance within us.

It’s all too easy to give up.

It’s all too easy to forget the deeper truth that our love and creativity are far more powerful than our fear, and it is our sacred responsibility to cultivate and embody the love that we are.

Kristin knew it would be too easy to give up on her dreams, and so she invested in coaching. As her coach I hold her vision with her – and sometimes for her, during those periods of self-doubt. I help her challenge the limiting beliefs and connect with the deepest and wisest part of her being. I support her in creating practices to cultivate and honor her talents and gifts – and the immense power that the longing to express them awakens in her. I help her discern the inner voice of truth and guidance, and encourage her to trust that voice. As my coach, Tama Kieves, has helped me.

It turns out that we’re really not meant to do this alone. (What fun would that be?!) And while I recognize that paying for support may seem like a luxury you can’t afford, what I’ve learned is that I can’t afford not to be supported. I can’t afford to give up on my dreams, because in living them I am, finally, fully living. Investing in my dreams, through coaching and many other means, has been the most fruitful and life-giving investment I have ever made.

And so I hope you’ll take your own dreams and longings seriously. I hope you’ll invest your energy, time and attention – and yes, your money – in them. I hope you will commit to creating the life you came here to live, moment by moment, day by day and year by year. And I hope, like Kristin, you will relish reaping the rewards of that loving and lifelong commitment.