The Law of Distraction

I spoke recently with a prospective client who hoped I could coach her through the process of obtaining a very specific job at a very specific company within a very specific timeframe by using the Law of Attraction (LoA). I suspect all of you reading this blog have at least heard of the LoA, and perhaps have been working actively to develop your own relationship with it, so I won't use this post to explain in any depth what it is. But for the sake of context and clarity, here is a quick overview: the LoA is a spiritual principle which reflects the fact that we're living in an energetic, vibrational universe, and that like vibrations attract each other while unlike vibrations are repellant. Much of the popular LoA material focuses on changing our thoughts, which offer a vibration, to match the vibration of what we want. Techniques such as visualization, affirmation, prayer, journaling and others can be used to focus our beliefs and thoughts in a way that supports the manifestation of our desires.

Or at least, that's the promise. In my coaching practice I have worked with numerous people who have tried these things, only to discover they don't really seem to "work." In my conversation with this particular prospective client, she,too, shared her frustration with having tried these techniques in the past without any real success. She described having put quite a bit of effort into them, thus increasing her frustration because she'd worked so hard for nothing.

Helping people understand why this frustrating dynamic keeps showing up is an ongoing challenge for me as a spiritual coach. If we're spiritual beings whose nature is defined by spirit and consciousness, then why doesn't our adherence to spiritual principles yield more fulfilling lives? This is a question far bigger than I can address in a single blog post, but there is a particular perspective I can share right now that my conversation with this woman brought into clear focus: it is our underlying intention, rather than the techniques themselves or the effort we apply to following them, that governs our results. When we use spiritual principles as mere tools to get what we want, it is fundamentally no different than doing things the old-fashioned way, with elbow grease and a huge helping of willpower.

And here is why: focusing on getting what we want in the material world often (but not always) arises from a fundamentally fear-based place. Although not always conscious, the underlying thought is, "If I don't get this, I won't be okay." In other words, we're still looking to the material world for our happiness and fulfillment, or to set things up in a particular way to avoid unhappiness. We're still referencing ourselves as separate, material beings competing for material advantage. (As a matter of fact, the LoA is often presented as a "secret tool" we can use to assure our competitive advantage. But competition arises only from fear and separation, not from the world of spirit.)

The woman with whom I spoke was almost desperate to get this job. Her underlying intention arose from fear, and in her case it was conscious. She really believed that if she didn't get the particular job, she wouldn't be okay. But she didn't yet understand that a fear-based intention can yield only fear-based results, regardless of how much great stuff she had on her vision board. Her efforts in the past didn't "work" because they, too, arose from that same desperate place.

The spiritual path isn't about getting what we think we need to be okay. It is about understanding, experiencing and celebrating who we are at the depth of our being. It is about acknowledging and cultivating our inherent greatness. It is about recognizing that we are eternal beings. It is about living in alignment with the truth that we are individuated aspects of a great Oneness, distinct yet fully connected. It is about evolving toward ever-greater harmony, beauty and creativity. It is about trusting our innate goodness, listening to our inner guidance, and learning to recognize and disempower the false fears and beliefs that keep us small. It is about learning to live from a sense of deep trust in our "okayness" rather than scrambling to keep ahead of the fear. It is about having the courage to follow our souls' longings, which lead to our greatest fulfillment and highest contribution to the whole.

It is, frankly, a huge challenge. But it is the challenge of a lifetime, and the only one that can yield true fulfillment because the world of spirit is the world of wholeness, whereas the world of fear is the world of separateness and not-enough-ness. This doesn't mean that the expression of spirit in the material world is finished and complete; it doesn't mean we shouldn't "want" anything other than what we have. In fact, our souls' longings have a certain tender urgency to them, a creative pulse that continously seeks fulfillment. This pulse is what evolves our species toward higher orders of creativity, harmony and beauty - that is its purpose.

So our task becomes to distinguish our souls' longings from the fear-based desires of the ego, and to honor the first while challenging the second. It's an ongoing query and process; the answers aren't always clear. But our willingness to keep asking opens us to moments of insight and grace, and to a deepening self-awareness that supports us in making better and better choices. And ironically, focusing with great zeal on how to apply a spiritual principle such as the LoA often distracts us from this deeper process - hence the title of this blog post.

If the prospective client I spoke with decides to coach with me, I'll work with her to go more deeply into the reasons why she wants the job she wants, and to identify the parts of her that want that particular job. I'll help her tease out the assumptions and beliefs she may be holding that are narrowing her view of what is possible, and then help her challenge those beliefs. I'll ask her what she would most want to create, give or experience in her life, if she wasn't afraid.

These are the kind of questions that help us shift from ego to soul, from fear to trust. It isn't that I would be trying to convince her she doesn't need a job; of course she needs a job. But I would hope to support her in widening her perspective on what is possible, and also to support her in focusing on her many gifts and talents and how she might best use them in the world. I would hope to support her in opening, relaxing and expanding rather than contracting into rigidity and fear. I would hope to support her in developing humor, perspective and trust in the process of finding or creating work she loves - which may or may not come in the form of that particular job, with that particular company, in that particular timeframe.

It turns out we don't need to "apply" the LoA the way we would apply a new technique to writing a high-impact resume. The LoA simply is, and the more we live from love and trust, the greater the opportunities we have to experience more of the same. We don't need to work it, to manipulate or manhandle it. We need only to trust it, and to hold a firm and clear intention to live from the most expanded and loving version of ourselves that we can.

Which, as we know, is easier said than done. Give me a call if you'd like a little support...!